I am so tired of hearing people talk about how easy it is for women who have a c-section. When I listen to people describing their labor as compared to someone they knew who had a c-section, it is always along the lines of “they don’t really know what it’s like”, or “they have no idea what pain is”. It is true that women who have a c-section have not usually endured 12-20 hours of pain to deliver a baby naturally, but that doesn’t mean that they haven’t suffered.
Many women who have c-sections do so reluctantly AFTER enduring labor for hours and hours. In my sister’s case, she underwent 36 hours of pain because she wanted to deliver the baby naturally. It was only when the baby went into distress, and her own life was in jeopardy that she finally consented to a very large baby (10.5lb) being taken out by c-section. If she tells anyone she had a c-section, they will acquire that knowing look of “oh you have no idea what it’s really about” when really it’s they who have no idea.
There are also women who have complications in pregnancy that necessitate the baby being brought into the world via c-section. These women know that their baby’s life is hanging in the balance, and if that is not pain I don’t know what is. There are some women who require their baby to be born c-section because of the way it is lying. They don’t want a c-section, but normally delivery is impossible – so why should they be made to feel inferior because of something that was completely beyond their control? Surely the most important thing is that the baby comes into this world as quickly and safely as possible.
Pain comes in many guises. In my case, it was emotional. My much hoped for home-birth went as far from what I wanted as it could possibly be when complications meant my baby was born 1 month prematurely by c-section under general anaesthetic. My husband was not allowed to be in the room with me. Neither of us saw our child come into this world. Although the birth procedure itself was quick, the preparation and aftermath were physically and emotionally scarring. Our son was born at 9.40 am in the morning. I wasn’t able to see him until 7.00 pm that night. Can any mother who has given birth naturally imagine that? I had a baby that was only 3lb in weight in a neonatal ward. I, on maternity, wasn’t able to get to him. I lay in my bed listening to other babies on the corridor crying and wondering if my baby was crying for me. Eventually my husband pushed my bed almost the entire length of the hospital from our room, to the neonatal area, and I saw and held my 10-hour-old son for the first time. For first couple of days I wasn’t able to be with the baby unless someone could help me get there and I endured many hours of agony because I knew that if I went back to my room for pain relief, I might not be able to get back to the baby until someone was able to take me. The baby meant more to me and so I blocked out the pain where possible. Around this time there were a few articles in the local newspaper of women saying how easy a c-section was – well perhaps it was for them, but there were half a dozen women with babies in my son’s ward who could testify to the other side of the picture.
Women need to be aware that having a c-section isn’t just a cut and the baby’s born. Even without the complications of a baby with special needs, the mother cannot just get out of bed and do things as she would if the baby had been born naturally. A c-section is major surgery. Those women that have a c-section with the aid of an epidural or spinal block, are able to have their chosen birth partner with them and they see the baby immediately it is born – but even they will not be able to quench that new mother’s instinct to pick her baby from the crib and cuddle it, unless there is someone in the room to hand it to her. I believe that many women think that because some areas perform c-sections that are possibly un-necessary because it is quicker, that this means that it is easier on the mother. This is not the case. It is easier on the hospital because it then knows how many babies will be born that day, and how long the parents and baby are likely to occupy space in the hospital – but it is not easier on the mother who will endure days and nights of physical pain from the surgery, emotional pain from finding out that she cannot care for her baby in its first days without help, and the knowledge that many people think that she has taken the effortless way out.
Instead of newspapers writing up “feel good” stories that support the need of some hospitals to carry out c-sections simply for time management needs, I wish they would take up the cause of the mothers and deliver the reverse side. Then those women who have needless c-sections, and those like myself who must have them, will not feel that we are less of a woman because we did not experience a lot of pain bringing our babies into the world “the easy way”.
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