During your regular doctor’s check-up it is best to ask as many questions as you want. Don’t hold back. That is what your healthcare provider is there for and being paid for. Don’t be afraid to speak up and don’t worry if you feel that you are taking up too much time. It is always best to be well informed. You surely will feel better going home with your questions and concerns addressed. Most clinics also have phone nurses for any additional queries that come up once you are home.

If, after a few visits to your provider, you do not feel comfortable or he or she may seem distracted or forceful during your visit, SWAP DOCTORS! Trust me. They will not be offended in any way. After all, you are the most important person there. You do not want to dread your next visit or risk a miserable delivery. Labor is one of the most important days of your life, and having the confidence that the OB will honor your wishes should the birthing plan suddenly change. Your doctor may not agree with your wishes or listen to your opinion. If you are not okay with this, don’t be afraid to speak up or find someone who will listen to you. You deserve the respect.

During active labor you have the right to change your birth plan and demand medication (although if you are too far into labor you will be denied). Your labor and the delivery of your baby is a once in a lifetime experience and you shouldn’t have to associate negativity with it. If your wishes are denied, demand someone else immediately. You may get another partner in the practice or a doctor on duty, but they may be more inclined to treat you adequately.

Postpartum is every bit as important as the pregnancy itself – if not more so – because now your body is attempting to repair the ravages of childbirth, whether it was a C-section or a vaginal delivery. It is vital that you keep a close eye on your body for any negative symptoms that are listed on the hospital or birthing center discharge paperwork. For example, if your C-section incision site becomes red and painful, contact your doctor. If he or she says tells you this symptom is normal but you don’t feel it is, get it checked out immediately. I, personally, was told this and ended up with multiple C-section infections because I did not speak up. It is imperative that you follow your instinct. If you feel that your worries are not being adequately addressed, speak to someone about it. Don’t take the risk of getting sicker.

Some doctors are not as in tune with postpartum depression as others. It is not something to be ashamed of; it is a serious condition that will affect your recovery as well as your bonding time with your baby. If your doctor dismisses it, bring it to his or her attention. If you are given medication that makes it worse, tell your doctor and they will be able to help. They should be familiar with postpartum depression and should understand how important this is. If not, they can refer you to someone who can help.

Hopefully all will go well for you and your baby. It is up to you to help to make it possible. Make yourself comfortable with your healthcare and lifestyle. This is the best and most important time of your life.

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All clothing you look for should feel soft and comfortable for your newborn. Look for clothing items that have wide or stretchy openings; avoid outfits with lots of buttons and closures, as these will just add to the time and trouble spent dressing your baby. Make sure you have on hand several outfits that are 100% cotton, in case your baby is irritated by synthetic fabrics. Stocking up on simple outfits means you will have less laundry to do in those first weeks of motherhood. Make sure to have outfits in bigger sizes so you won’t run out of clothes as your baby grows. Remember to buy special laundry detergent for baby clothing. Here is a list of the basics you will need:

- 5+ onesies, or one piece body suits (long-sleeve and short-sleeve depending on the time of year)

- 5+ pajamas (nightgowns make nighttime diaper changes especially easy)

- 4-5 outfits for play or trips out of the house (these are always adorable, but if you spend a lot of time at home, you’ll find yourself using basic pieces more often)

- 1-2 sweaters or jackets, plus a winter coat if you’ll be having a winter baby

- 7+ pairs of socks or booties (these are easy to misplace so have extra pairs handy)

- 3-4 hats (keep in mind the season when buying baby hats, as some are more suitable for winter or summer)

- 5+ bibs, which can come in handy whether bottle feeding or breastfeeding

If your baby will be sleeping in a crib, you will probably want to buy:

- 3-5 crib sheets

- 2+ waterproof mattress covers or pads

- a soft crib bumper

For co-sleeping, you might find it useful to buy a waterproof pad for the baby to sleep on top of, in case you have to deal with leaky nighttime diapers.

All babies will need several blankets on hand, with thicker, warmer blankets for winter babies.

Baby Gear

Baby aisles are stocked full of all kinds of toys and gear for your new baby. Everyone will find that different types of baby gear will suit different people (and babies), but here are a few timeless classics that many moms have found to be beneficial in the first months:

- Car Seat: This is absolutely necessary gear for your newborn right from the start. You can choose an infant car seat or a convertible car seat, which is more expensive but will last longer. Many recommend choosing a seat with the new 5-point harness system.

- Crib, Co-sleeper or Bassinet: None of these are necessary if you plan on co-sleeping full-time, though it might be handy to have one around for naps and for when your baby is older. A bassinet may be good for naps in the living room, but some moms find that a bassinet is not as useful as they thought it would be.

- Stroller: Investing in a quality stroller is a good idea. For a newborn, you will need a stroller designed for young babies that has a secure seat that reclines. There are many strollers that will allow you to attach your infant car seat directly to them. Look for wheels of good size, handles that are comfortable to hold and at the appropriate height for you, and straps that are secure and easy to adjust.

- Swing or Bouncer Seat: Many moms find both of these to be life-saver in the first months of motherhood. Swings and bouncer seats often soothe a young baby into slumber, and give mom a moment of hands-free time. Distracting mobiles and music aren’t necessary in those early months. Simple and sturdy is best.

- Sling: A soft, comfortable sling can be essential for new moms who want to stay close to their new baby. Babies are often soothed and calm when being held close in a sling, and studies have shown that wearing your baby on a regular basis can help in their development. If possible, try on several slings at the store and pick the one you feel will put the least amount of strain on your back and shoulders.

-Bathtub: There are many baby tubs and seats on the market. Most of them have advantages and disadvantages. It’s a good idea to shop around, read reviews, and buy what you feel will be most useful for you and your baby. Don’t forget to stock up on washcloths and hooded bath towels for your baby, too.

Feeding and Diapering

If you plan on bottle-feeding or pumping while breastfeeding, you will need to have several bottles around. Extra nipples, a bottle warmer, and a bottle cleaner will also come in handy. Decide whether you are using disposable diapers or cloth diapers, and stock up on as many as you can (plan on changing at least 8-10 diapers every day for the first few weeks). Don’t forget that your baby will grow quickly and may change diaper sizes on a regular basis at first. Also, stock up on baby wipes, diaper rash ointment, and baby powder. A wipes warmer and a special diaper disposer can come in handy, too.

Extras

These are miscellaneous items that will be good to have around:

- 3-4 pacifiers

- first aid kit

- thermometer

- baby wash and baby shampoo

- baby nail clippers

- suction bulb

- baby monitor

- nursing pillow

- calendar or book to record baby’s first year

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1. Preparing for Motherhood: Things to Do in Your Third Trimester
2. Pregnancy: It’s Almost Time
3. Preparing for Motherhood: A Beginner’s Guide to Freezing Meals During Pregnancy

The third trimester is the perfect time to plan a fun baby shower with all of your friends and family. Even a small baby shower is an enjoyable way to celebrate your pregnancy. Celebrate with your favorite foods and a fun theme, and enjoy being the center of attention for a day. Most expectant moms find that registering for gifts is a fun way to pass the time, even if you don’t end up getting everything on your list.

Organizing all the baby clothes and toys you receive while you are pregnant is a good way to use nesting energy, and it will also help you to have things in order ahead of time. Make sure to wash all of the baby clothes in gentle detergent designed especially for babies. Sort the clothes by size so it will be easy to find what you need later on. Go ahead and assemble the baby toys and carriers so they will be ready as soon as your baby arrives. You can also set up a diaper changing area with diapers, wipes, diaper rash ointment, baby powder, and a diaper pail.

The last trimester of pregnancy is also an excellent time to pack your hospital bag and also a diaper bag for when you’re out with your new baby. Make sure your diaper bag is roomy enough to fit the necessities, but not so large that it’s cumbersome and in the way.

When you are pregnant, it never hurts to put your feet up and read a good book. The last three months of pregnancy are a good time to put those reading skills to use and find some good books on childbirth and parenting.

During the last month or two of pregnancy, you can also bake some of your favorite meals to store in the freezer. You will thank yourself later when you have plenty of good meals that can be popped right into the microwave or oven and served within minutes. Have fun baking: you might not have time for it for a while after your baby is born.

Of all the preparing you can do in the last trimester of pregnancy, the most important thing to remember is to relax and get the rest you need. While it’s great to be prepared, it’s even better to keep your stress levels low and make sure your body has the energy it needs for your baby. You can have a blast preparing for your baby, but you shouldn’t overexert yourself.

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Postpartum depression is a mixture of raging hormones and an overwhelming sense of responsibility.  While for most women this is short lived, some have prolonged symptoms.

Feelings

Some new moms find the time following Baby’s birth a devastating whirlwind of confusion and raging hormones.  Just getting through the day can be an overwhelming experience.  If you are experiencing postpartum depression, don’t feel you are alone.  Half of all new moms feel depressed after giving birth.  It is a common occurrence.

Often postpartum depression lasts only a few days or weeks as your raging hormones settle back to a normal range.  However, one in every ten new moms has prolonged postpartum depression.  They feel they cannot cope; they are constantly exhausted and they cry or are weepy a lot.  This can make things worse, as the new mom feels guilty for not being happy.

If you are one of these moms, do not feel guilty or ashamed.  Talk about your feelings to those around you who will give you much needed support in your time of stress.  Most of all tell your doctor how you feel.  He/she may prescribe a mild antidepressant or refer you to a support group.  This can make all the difference in the world.

If you are suffering from prolonged postpartum depression, instead of suffering in silence, seek professional help.

Take a Break

Many times new moms experience a more intense postpartum depression because they spend all of their time at home, cooped up with their newborn infant.

Be sure to take a break. Ask your husband or another family member to watch Baby while you take a much needed break.  This can be something as simple as taking a walk or strolling through the local mall; visit a friend or see a movie.

You have to learn that others can cope with Baby and that you need not be with him/her every minute of the day.

Admit Your Feelings

Therapy will help you deal with the feelings of guilt that goes along with postpartum depression.

A therapist can help you understand that mothering is a monumental task, not to be taken lightly.  He/she will assure you that your feelings are normal and that instead of being upset and embarrassed, you should be proud of yourself for taking on the responsibility of raising a child.

Postpartum Pain

After-pains are severe contractions that occur in the first week of giving birth.  These will diminish as the week progresses.  Your doctor may prescribe a pain medication.

Hemorrhoids are often part of the childbirth experience. Buy an over-the-counter medication and use a sitz bath often.

For many women, flushing the area with a squeeze bottle of warm water after toileting brings relief.

Engorged breasts can be very painful.  This usually happens 24 to 72 hours after giving birth.  Relief can be found by applying hot or cold compresses and wearing a firm support bra.  Hot showers may work for some women and if you’re nursing, try frequent feedings.

Resources for Sufferers

Depression After Delivery (DAD) 1-800-944-4733

Or write to:
DAD
PO Box 1282,
Morrisville, PA 19067

Postpartum Support International: 1-800-967-7636

Postpartum Adjustment Support Services (Canada)
Fax: 1-905-844-5973

Or write to:
PASS-CAN
PO Box 7282
Station Main
Oakville, Ontario
Canada  L6J 6L6

BOOKS:

The New Mother Syndrome…Coping with Postpartum Stress and Depression
By Carol Dix

Postpartum Survival Guide
By Anne Dunnewold, Ph.D., and Diane Sanford, Ph. D.

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1. My Journey Through Postpartum Depression
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1. Avoid cola – many cola drinks contain phosphates in the form of phosphoric acid that has been shown to interfere with calcium absorption. This in turn affects bone density, particularly in older women. As few as four cola drinks a week can reduce bone density by 4%, and increase the risk of osteoporosis.
2. Take the stairs – it’s easy to build fitness levels without taking up precious time. Use the stairs instead of the left to go a couple of floors, jog a couple of blocks rather than taking the car, play sports with your children or grandchildren. In other words, build exercise into your daily routine instead of making it something you have to devote special time to.
3. Don’t be too clean – soap and water are sufficient to keep hands and work surfaces clean. Many modern cleaners contain anti-bacterial agents which can affect the balance of bacteria on and in the human body. Cleaning of this level is unnecessary for normal healthy adults, who benefit from exposure to many of the micro-organisms that anti-bacterial products wipe out.
4. Drink tea – compounds in black tea have been found to kill cavity-causing bacteria in dental plaque, which is often a precursor to more serious gum diseases. Black tea also stops the bacteria clumping together, so reducing the total mass of plaque on teeth.
5. Take folic acid – this supplement is known for its benefits to pregnant women, but when taken with vitamins B6 and B12 it can reduce the risk of a progressive eye disorder called age-related macular degeneration (AMD). AMD is often untreatable and can lead to blindness, but results from one trial showed the risk of AMD was reduced by 41% when participants took 2.5mg of folic acid, 50mg of vitamin B6 and 1mg of B12 daily.
6. Eat more bananas – bananas can stave off depression. How? As well as being virtually zero fat and high in vitamins, they contain tryptophan, an amino acid linked to levels of serotonin in the body. Low levels of serotonin, the ‘happy hormone’, cause anxiety and other mental health problems. A banana a day can help keep the blues away.
7. Sleep more – lack of sleep alters mood and can cause stress, irritability and anxiety. Sleep is the time when the body heals itself and most effectively generates new cells. A good night’s sleep is priceless, so invest in a quality mattress, bedding and pillows. It really is worth it.
8. Keep off painkillers – recent research has shown that non-steroidal anti-inflammatories (NSAIDs) – which include ibuprofen – can cause long term damage to vital organs such as the kidneys. Studies show that professional sportsmen who routinely rely on these painkillers to play, can suffer serious health problems years later. Avoid painkillers for simple headaches that may well be caused only by tiredness or dehydration.
9. Strengthen your stomach to strengthen your back – stronger abdominal muscles provide better support for the lower back. Almost 80% of people experience back problems at some point. As few as 20 sit ups a day taking less than a minute can strengthen stomach muscles and head off back pain.
10. Have more sex – OK, this one does take more time, but who’s complaining? Those who have at least 200 orgasms a year live longer and remain more active for an average of up to six years.

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Now that you’re pregnant, it’s time to understand what you can do to keep your baby healthy.  Many women quickly become overwhelmed when they try to change their lifestyle to meet the needs of the child growing inside of them.  By following these simple nutrition and exercise tips, you can make sure that your pregnancy is less stressful on you and your baby.

Whether you enjoy eating fish or not, it is important to know that certain types of fish can help your baby’s motor skills and cognitive development once they are born.  Though most types are fine to eat, shark, swordfish, and marlin should be avoided as they contain high levels of mercury and can seriously harm your baby.

As an expectant mother, folic acid is an important vitamin in your arsenal.  When the recommended amount is taken during pregnancy, it can decrease the risk of brain and spinal defects in your newborn.  Folic acid should be taken three months prior to conception and be continued into the first three months of your pregnancy.  It can be found naturally in orange juice, beans, and leafy green vegetables, or in its synthetic form as a vitamin supplement.

Now is the time to make sure that you are getting enough iron in your diet.  Iron deficiencies during pregnancy are common because your body will produce up to fifty percent more blood during this time.  In addition to supporting the extra blood produced by your body, a sufficient amount of iron will help the placenta develop properly.  As many women have low levels of iron before they become pregnant, it is very important to maintain a healthy blood iron level when you are expecting a child.

Physical activity is recommended for normal pregnancies and can help make labor easier.  Swimming and low impact aerobics are safe ways to gain endurance and strength, while other activities, such as biking, jogging, tennis, and cross country skiing should be discussed with a doctor beforehand.  Activities involving physical contact, falling, or bouncing should be avoided as it may put stress on your baby.  As long as you are careful, physical activity can have many benefits in pregnancy.

Proper diet and exercise can greatly contribute to your baby’s health.  A balanced diet that includes folic acid and iron will help your baby develop properly while they are in the womb.  Moderate physical activity can also make labor easier.  By following these simple suggestions, you can have a healthier and less stressful pregnancy.

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2. Is it Dangerous to Exercise During Pregnancy?
3. Preparing for Motherhood: Things to Do in Your Third Trimester