During your regular doctor’s check-up it is best to ask as many questions as you want. Don’t hold back. That is what your healthcare provider is there for and being paid for. Don’t be afraid to speak up and don’t worry if you feel that you are taking up too much time. It is always best to be well informed. You surely will feel better going home with your questions and concerns addressed. Most clinics also have phone nurses for any additional queries that come up once you are home.

If, after a few visits to your provider, you do not feel comfortable or he or she may seem distracted or forceful during your visit, SWAP DOCTORS! Trust me. They will not be offended in any way. After all, you are the most important person there. You do not want to dread your next visit or risk a miserable delivery. Labor is one of the most important days of your life, and having the confidence that the OB will honor your wishes should the birthing plan suddenly change. Your doctor may not agree with your wishes or listen to your opinion. If you are not okay with this, don’t be afraid to speak up or find someone who will listen to you. You deserve the respect.

During active labor you have the right to change your birth plan and demand medication (although if you are too far into labor you will be denied). Your labor and the delivery of your baby is a once in a lifetime experience and you shouldn’t have to associate negativity with it. If your wishes are denied, demand someone else immediately. You may get another partner in the practice or a doctor on duty, but they may be more inclined to treat you adequately.

Postpartum is every bit as important as the pregnancy itself – if not more so – because now your body is attempting to repair the ravages of childbirth, whether it was a C-section or a vaginal delivery. It is vital that you keep a close eye on your body for any negative symptoms that are listed on the hospital or birthing center discharge paperwork. For example, if your C-section incision site becomes red and painful, contact your doctor. If he or she says tells you this symptom is normal but you don’t feel it is, get it checked out immediately. I, personally, was told this and ended up with multiple C-section infections because I did not speak up. It is imperative that you follow your instinct. If you feel that your worries are not being adequately addressed, speak to someone about it. Don’t take the risk of getting sicker.

Some doctors are not as in tune with postpartum depression as others. It is not something to be ashamed of; it is a serious condition that will affect your recovery as well as your bonding time with your baby. If your doctor dismisses it, bring it to his or her attention. If you are given medication that makes it worse, tell your doctor and they will be able to help. They should be familiar with postpartum depression and should understand how important this is. If not, they can refer you to someone who can help.

Hopefully all will go well for you and your baby. It is up to you to help to make it possible. Make yourself comfortable with your healthcare and lifestyle. This is the best and most important time of your life.

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All clothing you look for should feel soft and comfortable for your newborn. Look for clothing items that have wide or stretchy openings; avoid outfits with lots of buttons and closures, as these will just add to the time and trouble spent dressing your baby. Make sure you have on hand several outfits that are 100% cotton, in case your baby is irritated by synthetic fabrics. Stocking up on simple outfits means you will have less laundry to do in those first weeks of motherhood. Make sure to have outfits in bigger sizes so you won’t run out of clothes as your baby grows. Remember to buy special laundry detergent for baby clothing. Here is a list of the basics you will need:

- 5+ onesies, or one piece body suits (long-sleeve and short-sleeve depending on the time of year)

- 5+ pajamas (nightgowns make nighttime diaper changes especially easy)

- 4-5 outfits for play or trips out of the house (these are always adorable, but if you spend a lot of time at home, you’ll find yourself using basic pieces more often)

- 1-2 sweaters or jackets, plus a winter coat if you’ll be having a winter baby

- 7+ pairs of socks or booties (these are easy to misplace so have extra pairs handy)

- 3-4 hats (keep in mind the season when buying baby hats, as some are more suitable for winter or summer)

- 5+ bibs, which can come in handy whether bottle feeding or breastfeeding

If your baby will be sleeping in a crib, you will probably want to buy:

- 3-5 crib sheets

- 2+ waterproof mattress covers or pads

- a soft crib bumper

For co-sleeping, you might find it useful to buy a waterproof pad for the baby to sleep on top of, in case you have to deal with leaky nighttime diapers.

All babies will need several blankets on hand, with thicker, warmer blankets for winter babies.

Baby Gear

Baby aisles are stocked full of all kinds of toys and gear for your new baby. Everyone will find that different types of baby gear will suit different people (and babies), but here are a few timeless classics that many moms have found to be beneficial in the first months:

- Car Seat: This is absolutely necessary gear for your newborn right from the start. You can choose an infant car seat or a convertible car seat, which is more expensive but will last longer. Many recommend choosing a seat with the new 5-point harness system.

- Crib, Co-sleeper or Bassinet: None of these are necessary if you plan on co-sleeping full-time, though it might be handy to have one around for naps and for when your baby is older. A bassinet may be good for naps in the living room, but some moms find that a bassinet is not as useful as they thought it would be.

- Stroller: Investing in a quality stroller is a good idea. For a newborn, you will need a stroller designed for young babies that has a secure seat that reclines. There are many strollers that will allow you to attach your infant car seat directly to them. Look for wheels of good size, handles that are comfortable to hold and at the appropriate height for you, and straps that are secure and easy to adjust.

- Swing or Bouncer Seat: Many moms find both of these to be life-saver in the first months of motherhood. Swings and bouncer seats often soothe a young baby into slumber, and give mom a moment of hands-free time. Distracting mobiles and music aren’t necessary in those early months. Simple and sturdy is best.

- Sling: A soft, comfortable sling can be essential for new moms who want to stay close to their new baby. Babies are often soothed and calm when being held close in a sling, and studies have shown that wearing your baby on a regular basis can help in their development. If possible, try on several slings at the store and pick the one you feel will put the least amount of strain on your back and shoulders.

-Bathtub: There are many baby tubs and seats on the market. Most of them have advantages and disadvantages. It’s a good idea to shop around, read reviews, and buy what you feel will be most useful for you and your baby. Don’t forget to stock up on washcloths and hooded bath towels for your baby, too.

Feeding and Diapering

If you plan on bottle-feeding or pumping while breastfeeding, you will need to have several bottles around. Extra nipples, a bottle warmer, and a bottle cleaner will also come in handy. Decide whether you are using disposable diapers or cloth diapers, and stock up on as many as you can (plan on changing at least 8-10 diapers every day for the first few weeks). Don’t forget that your baby will grow quickly and may change diaper sizes on a regular basis at first. Also, stock up on baby wipes, diaper rash ointment, and baby powder. A wipes warmer and a special diaper disposer can come in handy, too.

Extras

These are miscellaneous items that will be good to have around:

- 3-4 pacifiers

- first aid kit

- thermometer

- baby wash and baby shampoo

- baby nail clippers

- suction bulb

- baby monitor

- nursing pillow

- calendar or book to record baby’s first year

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1. Avoid cola – many cola drinks contain phosphates in the form of phosphoric acid that has been shown to interfere with calcium absorption. This in turn affects bone density, particularly in older women. As few as four cola drinks a week can reduce bone density by 4%, and increase the risk of osteoporosis.
2. Take the stairs – it’s easy to build fitness levels without taking up precious time. Use the stairs instead of the left to go a couple of floors, jog a couple of blocks rather than taking the car, play sports with your children or grandchildren. In other words, build exercise into your daily routine instead of making it something you have to devote special time to.
3. Don’t be too clean – soap and water are sufficient to keep hands and work surfaces clean. Many modern cleaners contain anti-bacterial agents which can affect the balance of bacteria on and in the human body. Cleaning of this level is unnecessary for normal healthy adults, who benefit from exposure to many of the micro-organisms that anti-bacterial products wipe out.
4. Drink tea – compounds in black tea have been found to kill cavity-causing bacteria in dental plaque, which is often a precursor to more serious gum diseases. Black tea also stops the bacteria clumping together, so reducing the total mass of plaque on teeth.
5. Take folic acid – this supplement is known for its benefits to pregnant women, but when taken with vitamins B6 and B12 it can reduce the risk of a progressive eye disorder called age-related macular degeneration (AMD). AMD is often untreatable and can lead to blindness, but results from one trial showed the risk of AMD was reduced by 41% when participants took 2.5mg of folic acid, 50mg of vitamin B6 and 1mg of B12 daily.
6. Eat more bananas – bananas can stave off depression. How? As well as being virtually zero fat and high in vitamins, they contain tryptophan, an amino acid linked to levels of serotonin in the body. Low levels of serotonin, the ‘happy hormone’, cause anxiety and other mental health problems. A banana a day can help keep the blues away.
7. Sleep more – lack of sleep alters mood and can cause stress, irritability and anxiety. Sleep is the time when the body heals itself and most effectively generates new cells. A good night’s sleep is priceless, so invest in a quality mattress, bedding and pillows. It really is worth it.
8. Keep off painkillers – recent research has shown that non-steroidal anti-inflammatories (NSAIDs) – which include ibuprofen – can cause long term damage to vital organs such as the kidneys. Studies show that professional sportsmen who routinely rely on these painkillers to play, can suffer serious health problems years later. Avoid painkillers for simple headaches that may well be caused only by tiredness or dehydration.
9. Strengthen your stomach to strengthen your back – stronger abdominal muscles provide better support for the lower back. Almost 80% of people experience back problems at some point. As few as 20 sit ups a day taking less than a minute can strengthen stomach muscles and head off back pain.
10. Have more sex – OK, this one does take more time, but who’s complaining? Those who have at least 200 orgasms a year live longer and remain more active for an average of up to six years.

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IVF is going to test you both and having people you can talk to, for advice or just to sound off to, will be invaluable.  You will have each other but try to confide in supportive friends and family members as well to get a perspective from someone not directly involved in the process.  Don’t underestimate the support you can also get from complete strangers by joining one of the numerous IVF / infertility internet groups and messageboards to learn from others’ experiences and ask questions in a safe environment.  Many websites have sections for members to publish treatment diaries so you can understand what is involved in each step of IVF.

Tip #2:  Clear your schedule.

The lead up to IVF is very time-consuming with many appointments, blood tests, scans and injections.  The timings for these are often very precise and determined by the woman’s menstrual cycle.  Do as much as you can to ensure that these can be accommodated by not planning long trips away or big events.  Your life shouldn’t be put on hold, just calm it down for a few months!

Tip #3:  Consider complementary therapies.

Consult your clinic and your doctor to find out if they recommend any therapies to support your IVF procedure.  Acupuncture has been shown in many studies to increase the success rate of IVF by building up the lining of the uterus, helping follicles to develop and encouraging implantation.  If you are considering acupuncture, make sure you consult an acupuncturist who specializes in fertility issues.  Other therapies, such as hypnotherapy and reflexology, can help by reducing overall stress levels.

Tip #4:  Take steps to improve your health.

Tobacco smoke has been found to contain at least 30 chemicals that can adversely affect fertility so cutting down smoking or ideally stopping altogether must be one of your top priorities.  Both men and women should also reduce their alcohol and caffeine intake to improve overall health and fertility.

In terms of healthy eating for women, protein is important for egg production and egg quality.  Women need approximately 60-70 grams of protein a day making up 20% of their diet.  The main sources of protein are meat, fish, eggs and dairy produce as well as lentils, peas, beans, nuts and seeds.  For men, a diet rich in zinc and vitamin C can be beneficial for sperm quality.

Following these steps will help ensure that you are properly prepared for IVF, will reduce the stress often associated with the process and could also improve your chances of successful conception.

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Sweating

You might think that you are only supposed to sweat when you are hot, but once you hit puberty, you also will sweat when you are nervous. Your sweat glands (which make sweat) become more active during the teen years, causing both more sweat and also some smell. You actually have 2 million to 4 million sweat glands all over the body. Most are on the soles of the feet, the palms, forehead, cheeks, and in the armpits. Don’t panic, though. Sweat and smell are normal parts of becoming an adult. Sweating also does an important job – it helps to cool your body down when you are hot.

How to help keep sweat from smelling badly:

• Shower or take a bath every day.

• Use a deodorant (covers smell) or an antiperspirant (decreases sweating), or a product that has both.

• Talk to your doctor if these things do not work or you are worried.

Worried About Bad Breath?

Bad breath, also called halitosis, is caused by bacteria that grow in your mouth. The bacteria gather on the small food pieces left in your mouth, especially between your teeth. The bacteria release sulfur compounds, which is what makes your breath smell. Strong-smelling foods such as garlic and onions can cause bad breath, and so can smoking.

Tips for preventing bad breath:

• Don’t smoke! It is good for your health in many ways to avoid smoking.

• Brush your teeth (and tongue!) for at least two minutes twice a day with a fluoride toothpaste, especially after meals.

• Floss every day.

• Replace your toothbrush every three to four months.

• Visit your dentist twice a year for cleanings and an exam to check for cavities.

• Eat right. Avoid foods and drinks that can cause bad breath such as cabbage, garlic, raw onions and coffee. Don’t diet. Not eating enough or cutting out certain foods (such as carbohydrates) can cause bad breath.

Bad breath that won’t go away also can be a sign of a medical problem, such as a sinus infection or gum disease (gingivitis).

Be sure to talk to your dentist if your bad breath does not go away. It’s normal to be embarrassed, but it’s a very common problem and a dentist can help you try to fix it.

Your Skin

Your skin is just one more thing that changes when you go through puberty. Acne often starts in your early teen years because your body is making more oil glands, which is normal. A few different skin problems are a part of acne: whiteheads, blackheads and cystic acne.

• Whiteheads are made when a hair follicle (root) is plugged with oil and skin cells.

• If this plugged up stuff comes up to the surface of the skin and the air touches it, it turns black and becomes a blackhead. So, blackheads are not caused by dirt.

• If a plugged follicle breaks, the area swells and becomes a red bump. If this happens close to the surface of the skin, the bump most often becomes a pimple. If it breaks deep inside in the skin, nodules or cysts can form, which can look like larger pimples. This is cystic acne.

Acne is common among teens, but not everyone will have the same troubles. It may be worse in boys because they have more oils in their skin. Also, it can run in the family. If your mother or father had bad acne, the same may happen for you. Some people also just have more sensitive skin.

How Is Acne Treated?

First, wash your face regularly. If the acne does not go away, there are over-the-counter products (you can buy these without a doctor’s order) available in different forms, such as gels, lotions, creams and soaps. Common ingredients used in these products to fight acne are benzoyl peroxide, resorcinol, salicylic acid and sulfur. If you have a bad skin reaction to any products you buy on your own, tell your doctor. Also, it can take time for these products to work. If they do not make your acne better after two months, ask your doctor for help. The doctor can give you stronger medicines, including antibiotics or other pills and creams that have either retinoids or adapalene in them. Retinoids can make you very sensitive to the sun, so avoid those rays or use a strong sunscreen to protect yourself. Another word of caution: the medicine isotretinoin (the product is called Accutane) can cause birth defects and miscarriages (losing a baby while pregnant) if taken when a woman is pregnant.

What Can Make Acne Worse?

• Oil-based make-up, suntan oil, hair gels and sprays
• Stress
• Your period
• Picking at your pimples
• Scrubbing your skin too hard
• Getting too much sun

What Doesn’t Cause Acne?

Dirt, fried foods or chocolate, and sexual activity do not cause acne. These are myths!

Hair Care

The same kind of oil that causes breakouts on your face also comes out of the pores on your scalp. In the right amount, this oil keeps your hair shiny and healthy looking. When there is too much oil, your hair can look greasy. If your hair is oily, wash it every day. You also may want to try shampoos that are made for oily hair. It also can help to stop using hair products that have oil in them.

On the other hand, if your hair is dry, you may want to shampoo less often and use a moisturizing shampoo. If you see white flakes in your hair or on your shoulders, you most likely have dandruff. There are special shampoos to treat dandruff that are sold near other hair products.

Do You Need to Douche?

No. The vagina actually cleans itself on the inside with natural fluids. The best way to clean the outside of your vagina is to wash with warm water and gentle, scent-free soap during a bath or shower. Products you might see on T.V. or at the drug store, such as feminine hygiene soaps, powders and sprays, are not needed. And they may even be harmful to you.

Douching is rinsing or cleaning out the vagina by squirting water or other fluids (solutions made with vinegar or baking soda that you can buy at the drug store) into the vagina. Women douche to rinse away blood after their periods and to generally feel cleaner. Many women douche, but doctors do not recommend it. Douching changes the balance of natural chemicals in your vagina and can make it easier for you to get dangerous infections.

If you have any of the following problems, tell your doctor right away:

• Itching in and near your vagina
• Burning or pain in your vagina
• Pain when you go to the bathroom
• Discharge, or fluid, from your vagina that is not normal, such as thick and white (like cottage cheese) or yellowish-green discharge that is foul smelling. Normal discharge changes throughout your menstrual cycle, but may normally look clear, cloudy white and/or yellowish.

If you are not sure if the discharge or fluid is normal, have your doctor check you out.

Tanning

You might think you look better with a tan, but the truth is, there is no such thing as a safe tan. When your skin becomes tan, it is really a sign that your skin cells have been hurt. The sun’s ultraviolet (UV) rays are what damage your skin and these rays play a big role in the growth of skin cancer, the most common kind of cancer in the United States. Today, more young people than ever are getting skin cancer.

To protect yourself:

• When possible, avoid outdoor activities during midday, when the sun’s rays are strongest. This usually means the hours between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m.

• Wear protective clothing, such as a wide-brimmed hat, long-sleeved shirt and long pants.

• Wear wraparound sunglasses that provide 100 percent UV ray protection to protect your eyes.

• Always wear a broad-spectrum sunscreen and lip screen with at least SPF 15. Follow the directions on the bottle to reapply and check the expiration date. Sunscreen without an expiration date will last no more than three years. Sunscreen will not last as long if it is stored in very hot or very cold temperatures.

Tanning Indoors

Trying to get that tan is dangerous both outside and inside. Indoor tanning salons use light bulbs in the “beds” that give off dangerous UV rays, the same rays found outside.

There are other indoor methods that do not use UV rays, including “spray tans” you can get at a salon and tanning lotions or gels that you can buy at a drugstore or department store. While there is no known risk for skin cancer with these products, you do have to be careful. Spray tans, lotions or gels use a color additive (what makes your skin look tan) called DHA that is approved – considered safe – for use on the outside of your body by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. If you use a sun-less tanning product on your own or go to a salon for a spray tan, make sure that your eyes and mouth are covered.

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