Tips for developing true friendship and lasting relationships
While the following tips are helpful in developing real friendships between women, they can also be applied to other important relationships in our lives:
1. Realise that it is more important to show interest for others than it is to draw interest to yourself. Many of us fall into the trap of wanting to be the centre of attention. The problem with this is that we often push others down in the attempt to lift ourselves up. Put your women friends first, at least some of the time, and you will be surprised how much more interest they will show you.
2. Friends love you even when others don’t. Make sure you return the favour. Being there for a chum is not just a trendy phrase. Being there means giving of yourself when your friends need you not only during opportune moments.
3. There is a saying that goes something like this, “When sorting yourself out, use your head. When sorting others out, use your heart.” This is imperative advice for friendship or any relationship. Treat other women’s problems and shortcomings as sympathetically as you want them to treat yours.
4. Friendship must be treasured. True friendships, rather than acquaintances or social contacts, should be highly valued and treated with care. Most women are lucky to find one true friend in a lifetime. Nurture your relationships and treat them with the importance they deserve. Nothing can harm a friendship more than broken trust or being taken for granted.
5. Be honest with your women friends. Sure, honesty can be painful, but being dishonest, even to spare someone’s feelings, will come back to haunt you. This is not to say that you should forego being tactful. For example, if a chum purchases a new dress that looks just awful on her, and she asks your opinion, you should tell her that you don’t find it very flattering. You needn’t say it is horrible, but you should be truthful. After all, you would want a friend to tell you the truth rather than allowing you to walk around wearing something unattractive, wouldn’t you? Be gentle, but at the same time, be honest.
6. Keep confidences. If a woman friend confides something person to you, keep that confidence as if it were sacred, because it is. When someone feels safe enough with you to share something, it is your responsibility to protect that information. One sure way to lose a friend is to expose a confidence.
7. Learn to compromise, and to agree to disagree. Even in the best of friendships, there will be occasional conflict. You and your chums will not always agree on everything. Where there is room for compromise, be willing to meet your friend half way. Where you are not able to give an inch because you feel strongly about a particular issue, agree to disagree. If you say you will agree to disagree, you must mean it. Do not continue trying to convince your friend to see things your way. Accept her opinion, respect it, and ask that she return the favour.
The key to forming true friendships and lasting relationships is caring for others as much, if not more, than we care for ourselves. These tips will help show important people in our lives just how much they mean to us.
Written by: Sherry Holetkzy
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